I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
