I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
