if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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