Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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