its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i drank out of a bidet.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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