Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
