You really coming over, don't trick.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
