If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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