my sisters under your porch take her home
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
