im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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