This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
either way he was missing a nipple.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
