I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize