One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
