Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
