If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
