Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
