i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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