So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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