I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
