okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
