No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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