he shaved USA in his pubs
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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