I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
