Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
