so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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