singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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