got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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