Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
