His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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