I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
