i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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