Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
