it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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