Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
