I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The air was thick with penises
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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