THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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