is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
