If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
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I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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