so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
