At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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