I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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