She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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