Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
