if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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