drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
