You work out of a Hotel?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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