Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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