i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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