Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
