I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize