At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
