Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
