when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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