David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
