Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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