hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
