I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
