He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
