I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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